sigh

englebert humperdinck's 'please release me' has been a staple tune in my head for a long time. my dad's a huge influence in my musical tastes.

but nowhere in memory has it been this loud in my head.

it's straight to it, the love is dead. let's move on sayang. the end of it becomes a downright plea of desperation.

"please! release me, can't you see?! you'd be a fool, to cling to me! to live a lie would bring us pain... release me and let me love again!"

it's astonishing how determined you are to continue trying to salvage this. but, admirable, noble -- even touching -- as your intentions may be, i have told you time and again that i cannot find it in me to continue.

and i have been upfront about it, honest, even blunt. but you're just swatting all that away "let's just not think about that shall we? just be nice to each other and move along, we don't need to end"

i mean, what's the whole point of this sayang? i loved you, i really did! what snapped it? time i guess... it just eroded. i don't see how our families can blend either. hence any future i may have seen has just gone up in smoke.

cruel as i may be to have that point of view despite how strongly we wanted each other, but that's how it is.

please understand this isn't easy on me too. i have to be cruel to be kind to you because i will be a worse person to play along and pretend. it'll be a lie.

even your closest friends have been trying to talk sense to you, to make you see that there's more to the world than just you and me, that there's a world beyond me, that really, in the end, there's always someone else!

i can't make you stop loving me, but i don't want you losing your head screws either. it's getting rather pathetic to look at you. and i'm angry because you have more self-worth than that. it's just pathetic. definitely not what i fell in love with in the first place.

i sometimes wonder if i'm really doing you an injustice, but i've consulted the very same friends who were advising you and none of them said so.

am i a jerk? am i an ass? am i a touch n go s.o.b? but i'm told that at least i'm honest enough to tell you instead of just walking out.

you say you're praying to god that we can work this out. i'm praying to god he lets you see that the only way this will work out is when you see that you're better off loving someone else than me. 

i've always had a special place for our friendship, and it was lovely that it blossomed to what it was. but i can only say it ran its course and really i cannot go on anymore.

so please, release me, let me go. i have done so with the slightest pang of guilt, but knowing that i'll be even guiltier if i continued and lied. please move on.

our time together can never be replaced and will be cherished, but that's a closed book now.

"to waste our lives would be a sin, release me, and let me love again."